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Hiatus.
I am ruined. My maid's gone and I've been crying so much I don't even know why anymore. Goodbye world, I'm off to hit the sack. This week has been too tiring a week for me.
Pray for me ): I need all the love and support in the world, now that my maid of [correction of previous post's info] 12 years is gone.
Major tests coming up next week. I just am in no mood to blog anymore. Work has been a major priority for once. I hope I do not have any breakdown in the midst of all the roller-coaster emotions and preparation for tests. I know Brenda told me to enjoy my secondary school years because such relaxed years will not come by easily again, but in my school, relaxing is not really an option.
Somebody counsel me D; I don't know what gibberish I'm spouting anymore.
Goodnight, I need my beauty sleep. Updates to come much later when I've finally put myself back together and sorted out my thinking.
Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. (Losing doesn't have to be a bad thing, as long as you don't lose your mind for eternity as well, but instead gain insights.)
Many things have happened. 'O' Level Chinese Oral this year, because I take Higher Chinese. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would turn out. Choir practices during last week of June holidays from 8.30am-5pm (Mon-Fri) and 8.30am-1pm (Sat) AND Choir practices for first week of school everyday from after school ended till 6pm was tiiiii-ringgg.
But anyhow, I survived and I'm sure the coming weeks won't get any easier to deal with but I will survive again. Vicious cycle, but I'm gonna deal with exams heads-on (pun intended)!
HIATUS, for the sake of one after so many hectic weeks and more to come.
Cheers to all in the same predicament and go for it!
I'm sure there are more, but I just pray I'll be able to get these done first and still even have time for a breather. AHHHHHHHHHHH.14 June
Just saw Lingli's blog, realised that I seriously need this list on the top until 23rd June to remind me of the horrible amount of HW to be done whenever I come blog. Problem is, I don't know the full list of things to be done. Ah, I'll survive anyhow, I hope D:
Today
JUNE HOLIDAY HOMEWORK. BE MAD OR BE SQUARED.English Comprehension ExerciseA. Math Quizzes on HeymathLiterature Essay (800-1000 words)Physics Moments WorksheetE. Math Lessons on HeymathE. Math Notes to be filled inE. Math Worksheets (x5)
OMG SCHOOL IS STARTING TOMORROW AND I STILL HAVE TRUCKLOADS OF HOLIDAY HOMEWORK TO FINISH
AND
I HAVE CHOIR TILL 6PM
AND
I NEED TO GO SLEEP ASAP IN ORDER TO WAKE UP BY 5.45AM.
SOMEBODY PLEASE SHOOT/SLAP/PINCH/KICK/POUR WATER ON ME.
6:14PM
Yes it IS too late, but I'm glad it's better late than never.
FINALLY STARTING ON MY 800-1000 WORDS LITERATURE ESSAY, :D
YAY ME!
Okay back to work, just wanted to let everyone know I have finally reached another milestone in my very slow holiday homework progress :]
Ciao!
6:35PM
I am a happy pig. I have finally finished my introduction and I am uber happy with it :D
YAY ME! This isn't as difficult as it seemed. Maybe it was just the overwhelming numbers of 800-1000 that put me off, but if I didn't try, I would never have known that it actually isn't THAT bad! :)
Going out for dinner now though. I pray my train of thoughts does not derail during dinner and I do not come home and sleep off the vast amount of food I plan to indulge in. Did I mention that I took a way-too-long nap of 2 hours just now when I should have started on my Lit essay? Now you know why I've only just started ;) Ahh well, the pigging days are soon going to be over so I was just maximising them :)
Gonna have late nights soon, thanks to tests, work, work, work and more choir D: Bah. HOWEVER, I feel much better today than yesterday.
Thanks to those who cheered me up! :]
Ciao!
I AM JUST SO ANGRY, I DON'T KNOW WHY.
I WOULD LOVE TO BE HAPPY AGAIN AND LMAO WITH MY GOOD BUDDIES ONCE SCHOOL REOPENS. HOWEVER, THE FACT THAT TESTS ARE ALL AROUND US AND SEEM TO HAVE SUCH A DAUNTING PRESENCE IN OUR LIVES, MAKES IT SO DIFFICULT TO LAUGH NOWADAYS. IT'S NOT THE TESTS THAT AFFECT ME. IT'S THE FACT THAT I'M NOT STUDYING FOR THEM AND THE THOUGHT THAT IT'S COMING SOON THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. WHAT HAPPENED TO A HAPPY CHILDHOOD?
I DON'T WANT TO BE A SLAVE TO ACADEMICS.
I ALSO CANNOT STAND PEOPLE WHO KEEP GOING ON AND ON ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY ARE WHEN IT COMES TO DANCING. I AM ANGRY MUCH MUCH MUCH.
Thanks Derrick for that little reminder on how to lead and about shining God's light but I think the road ahead is only going to get bumpier.
I hope tomorrow I don't lose my cool and scream at any of my juniors or I am SO GONNA BE KICKED OUT OF MY POSITION.
If I can't stand certain people in choir, I don't know how I will survive the corporate/working world, seriously. Also, a junior in my section rolled her eyes at me today. However, even after she apologised (albeit rather unsincerely), I was still angry/upset. What damage is done is done. Seriously, what has happened to the respect and looking-up-to of seniors? Do the juniors actually realise how difficult a job it is for us to guide and lead them? I am so tempted to say "I QUIT!" for one day and let them take over to realise the very bad vibes they always send through their body language and faces. One day, I hope they will realise how much we have had to tolerate and clam our teeth to tolerate their insolent behaviour. You won't imagine; they don't even open their mouths to sing, don't bring across any emotions that the song is suppose to portray, don't even want to be there, at choir practice. I don't care where they'd rather be. It's not like anyone even loves to be there as well, right? (Maybe only those cough-super-cough-enthu ones.) If this is the rate of progress our juniors are going at, I am worried and sorry for them and Mrs Goh, for then they will really tire Mrs Goh out without us around, and they would have to bear the brunt of her rarely-surfacing-but-nasty-when-it-does wrath. This is why exhaustion has been keeping me company nowadays. I try to kick it off but my parents aren't making it easier for me. Right now, they are chasing me relentless to get my bum at the dinner table and EAT. I mean, I AM TRYING TO RELIEVE SOME STRESS/SORENESS and there they are nagging. Nagging is the mother of all irritations.I think I know why so many people nip/tuck nowadays.
Choir has proven a few theories I had conjured.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Hey Eugenie, Yeap, lo and behold, this post is dedicated to you. I know I can go on and on about how boring and horrible my life is, but I trust that is not what you need to read now. Y'know, when friends are angry or upset, I feel it too, I'm sure you understand. Today, being tired out after choir and cell group outing, I came back and so happened to decide to read your latest blog entries. Woman, they sound either a tad angry or upset. That is so depressing! I mean, we're all in this together, yea? Buck up man, we can do this. I know when I say this, it's also to encourage myself. I mean, when talking about determination and all, I'm not really any better than you when it comes to studies and getting homework done. I don't know, sometimes I just feel that NO! this is not what I want to do. I want to do greater things, and start now. But you see, the big things start from the accumulation of the small achievements. And THAT, is why parents pay so much attention to our grades now. I'm sure you know why we have to do this. You also know that some people just always seem to be successful in every other subject except failing. Sometimes I think "life is not fair" but as everyone says, it never is. I also know from your entry that you find it a struggle nowadays. You want to do well, but it just doesn't get any easier. Well, it never has for any of us. Just remember that we have to just chiong this section of our lives, then take a break after Os, and move on to "greater things". It's a progression, and we can't escape it. We're not geniuses who just jump grades all the way to university at 15 years old. Anyway, those who do don't have a life, yea? :) Just take things one step at a time, take things in your stride, okay? Don't let such inanimate objects affect you so much! Just crash through all the holiday homework, and when school starts (hopefully we're still seating partners), we will help each other through those horrid study routines and all. Whatever you're going through now, believe me, I experience 80% of it, and sometimes I don't even care. The fact that you do, is a good sign. Just keep having the desire and want to do better. I'm sure with the psychological aspect dealt with, the physical one will be overcome. Be confident in yourself!! Last but not least (although I can really keep going on like a grandmother,) stop swearing! What does swearing bring to you? Relief?! Joy?! I don't get it, what do you achieve from swearing? Letting everyone else know you are very pissed? Letting everyone know your anger vocab is limited to the F word? Well, one thing I would like to admit but still share to encourage you is, nowadays, the only swear word I say (once in a BLUE moon) is OH SHIT, but even then I try to say OH SHOOT instead. Trust me, swearing is NO GOOD, at all. I used to swear a lot too, but after I decided to drop it once and for all after a teaching in church, I feel so much lighter, so much less angry. Besides, finding other words to replace swear ones is good for your vocab. Like for instance, you can say: I am extremely perturbed and flabbergasted at your behaviour and I would like to say I am very cross with you :) Just an example, though I think just saying shit or shoot makes for very good progress already :) Remember I'm here for you!
Lots of love,
Yiann
Labels: Jym (Church), Religion, SchoolOkay, today was fine overall.
Bad part was dealing with juniors that we rude. I mean seriously, we never treated our seniors like that. I am beginning to feel that they think they can do everything themselves and take us for granted. Must kick that feeling soon or I'll go into the music room sad everytime there is choir.
Good part was all that music during practice cheered me up and we had cell outing today. Just a little meal in Claudia's quaint, cosy home and a few rounds of taboo was good for my tired soul.
Exhausted from all the late-nights due to the DVD marathon for The Seventh Day. I must tell Kai Xin how much I liked it and how I detested the ending too when I see her on Sunday. WELCOME BACK! :D
Also exhausted from all the shouting during tribal songs for choir practices. I have to admit I'm losing my voice so I resort to straining it even further to get the accurate notes out. I think I am going to snap. Not in the anger department, but in the exhaustion department. Wanted to find another word for it, but due to the tiredness, I failed to. See what I mean?
I hope I can still finish majority of my holiday homework on time. I pray I will.
Please God, help me.
I am currently mugging. Seriously mugging.
I think having the distraction blasting right in my face is more effective than hiding away from it. I can't do work in my bedroom, one floor above, when I'm thinking of the TVB Drama 'The Seventh Day' I'm currently marathon-ing on the computer. So, unexpectedly, in order to watch the show sneakily, I brought my work down. Initially, I was really distracted because I kept watching and etc, you know what happens.
Howeverrr, after the disc's episodes ended, I resolved to listening to the theme song on repeat and doing my work at the same time. It works :D
Yay me, now I shall continue work until 11.15pm then let myself watch the show peacefully without any regrets, and maybe sleep late :) Hope I can wake up on time tomorrow. Today I did and got to the bus stop early, but still ended up late for choir because 156 took 25 mins to arrive. Was pretty upset ):
Choir again tomorrow from 8.30pm to 5pm. I will survive, even if we're so close but yet so far from the concert.
PEP TALK: WORK TIME GIRL :D
Ciao, and take care :)
